Wednesday, January 11, 2012

unseen critics

After being away from this blog for so long, I’m more than a little reluctant to come back. If I post something here today, does that imply a commitment to post something tomorrow or later this week, or later this month? I’m afraid I’ve let this blog become another pressure to “perform” – to produce something witty or insightful or lovely. Or at least to produce something more often then once every few months. Also, I confess: I read other blogs and compare. The comparison is not life-giving or inspiring. This blog becomes a reproach. How opposite that is to my original intent to find a place for expression and connection.
God of light, the unseen critics stand on my shoulder. They lean on my back; they are heavy, they are strong. They squeeze my head until it hurts. They shake a finger in my face. They clutch at my ankles so that every step forward is an effort. They crowd my brain until the river of creativity slows to a trickle and threatens to dry up altogether. God of acceptance and power, remove the unseen critics. Only you have the power to displace these long established residents. But I believe that if you make me free, I will be free indeed. Amen.